Deep Thoughts to Ponder

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
Wool shrinks when washed. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on its doors?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?
You know how most packages say, " Open here? " What should you do if the package says, " Open somewhere else? "
Why don't we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that indestructible little black box that is used on airplanes, why can't they make the whole plane out of that same substance?
Why is that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? "
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why do noses run and feet smell?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
Why do they put Braille on the number pads of a drive-thru bank machines?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime (i.e., pantomime) should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
If you placed a refrigerator in a climatically sealed room and left it running with the door open, would the room get hotter or colder?
What's the shortest route around an island?
If you are travelling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Have you ever thought of all the wholes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Do babies think adults are cute?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If you melted a pool full of dry ice, can you swim in it without getting wet?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all of her friends?
If you are standing directly on the line between two time zones, and it is 12:00 on one side and 1:00 on the other, is it 12:30 where you are standing?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?
Why is it called a hamburger, when it's made out of beef?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients....but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
How much deeper would the ocean be, if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead, to "cure" it.
Why do we put Suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If you were a glass of water, would you ever get thirsty?
If peanut butter cookies are made of peanut butter, what are Girl Scout cookies made of?