Things to do in the Office to Annoy People
- Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're
waitingfor your document.
- Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for
lunch,and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting
eat 5entire raw potatoes.
- Insist that your e-mail address be: "email@example.com"(or
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
- Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about
thedirection of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a
co-worker andask her to settle the disagreement.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're
allpresent. Come to work in your pajamas.
- Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Alwayswear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if yourboss is a different gender than you are.)
- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by
thesenames. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm
going tohave to disagree with you there, Chachi."
- Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
- Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all
reportsthat you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures
- Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
- Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at
McDonald'sPlayland. Charge everyone $15 each.
- Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
Forexample "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
- No matter what anyone asks you, reply "Okay."
- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
- Grow mold in your coffee cup.
- Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.
- Put on your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk
ina loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
- When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter,
"Ithink my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
- Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
- Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk
- "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost
yourshoes since you did this.
- Hang mistletoe over your desk.
- Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right
asspecial treats for your co-workers.
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
- Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge.
Tryto pass them off as your children.
- For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in
thefish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you
cancatch in your mouth.
- Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in thelunchroom,
when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat yourstomach,
and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." See how longit
takes until the last person stops believing you. Then start planting pizzas.
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
overtheir caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Put those hole reinforcing circles on the center of you eyeglasses. Now
goto that executive meeting.
- Put shaving foam on your bosses telephone earpiece. Dial the number.
Whenhe/she answers, say "Sqwish."
- Subscribe your coworkers to those free trade journals. Give them
wackymiddle names. Example: Bobby "Pud" McNeel.
- Change the message on the company voice mail system. Get "Creative".
- Hide a rubber cockroach in inventive places (Contributed)