Things to do in the Office to Annoy People

  1. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waitingfor your document.
  2. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch,and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5entire raw potatoes.
  3. Insist that your e-mail address be: ""(or "")
  4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want frieswith that.
  5. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about thedirection of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker andask her to settle the disagreement.
  6. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
  7. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're allpresent. Come to work in your pajamas.
  8. Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
  9. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Alwayswear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if yourboss is a different gender than you are.)
  10. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by thesenames. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going tohave to disagree with you there, Chachi."
  11. Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
  12. Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reportsthat you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures yourself.)
  13. Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.
  14. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chairdancing.
  15. Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald'sPlayland. Charge everyone $15 each.
  16. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. Forexample "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
  17. No matter what anyone asks you, reply "Okay."
  18. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
  19. Grow mold in your coffee cup.
  20. Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.
  21. Put on your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk ina loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
  22. When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "Ithink my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
  23. Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
  24. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  25. Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
  26. Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk intoyour daytimer.
  27. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost yourshoes since you did this.
  28. Hang mistletoe over your desk.
  29. Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right asspecial treats for your co-workers.
  30. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
  31. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  32. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Tryto pass them off as your children.
  33. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in thefish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you cancatch in your mouth.
  34. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in thelunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat yourstomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." See how longit takes until the last person stops believing you. Then start planting pizzas.
  35. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten overtheir caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  36. Put those hole reinforcing circles on the center of you eyeglasses. Now goto that executive meeting.
  37. Put shaving foam on your bosses telephone earpiece. Dial the number. Whenhe/she answers, say "Sqwish."
  38. Subscribe your coworkers to those free trade journals. Give them wackymiddle names. Example: Bobby "Pud" McNeel.
  39. Change the message on the company voice mail system. Get "Creative".
  40. Hide a rubber cockroach in inventive places (Contributed)