Deep Thoughts to Ponder
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and
- Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why do they report power outages on TV?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an
- What's another word for thesaurus?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean
- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
- Wool shrinks when washed. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
- If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
- Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
- If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?
- If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks
on its doors?
- If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights,
- You know how most packages say, " Open here? " What should you
do if the package says, " Open somewhere else? "
- Why don't we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?
- Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called shipment,
but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
- You know that indestructible little black box that is used on airplanes,
why can't they make the whole plane out of that same substance?
- Why is that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the
- Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
- What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? "
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- Why do noses run and feet smell?
- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
- When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
- Why do they put Braille on the number pads of a drive-thru bank machines?
- How did a fool and his money GET together?
- If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
- How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
- What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
- Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- When you choke a smurf what color does it turn?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
- Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the special
- Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
- Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
- If you shoot a mime (i.e., pantomime) should you use a silencer?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the
basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?
- Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But
when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
- If you placed a refrigerator in a climatically sealed room and left it
running with the door open, would the room get hotter or colder?
- What's the shortest route around an island?
- If you are travelling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights
on, what happens?
- Have you ever thought of all the wholes there could be if people would
just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
- Do babies think adults are cute?
- If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
- If you melted a pool full of dry ice, can you swim in it without getting
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all of her friends?
- If you are standing directly on the line between two time zones, and it is
12:00 on one side and 1:00 on the other, is it 12:30 where you are standing?
- How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
- If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?
- Why is it called a hamburger, when it's made out of beef?
- Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients....but dishwashing liquid
contains real lemons?
- How much deeper would the ocean be, if sponges didn't grow in it?
- Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
- Why do we wait until a pig is dead, to "cure" it.
- Why do we put Suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
- Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an
"S" in it?
- What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
- Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If you were a glass of water, would you ever get thirsty?
- If peanut butter cookies are made of peanut butter, what are Girl Scout
cookies made of?